Sunday, November 7, 2010

Capture them in flight...

It's raining on the Central Coast of california.

It fits my mood.
It's been a trying week.. and I noticed that I have written "This week tried to kill me" more than once on my facebook status... ha! I am so dramatic!
Sometimes I feel as though there is so much to learn...and then RELEARN that it takes the place of all the wonder that you have for the world.
You feel burdened by responsibilities and by the past/future/present.
Finding the beauty in things is so much easier than finding beauty in yourself, as yourself. As is.
In AS IS condition. Be present in the AS IS moment. I love myself as is at this very moment in the NOW. I just wrote a bunch of shit.. jibberish.. mish mash of self hatred and loathing and I thought.. wow.. SHUT UP hit backspace and wrote this instead...
I am totally fearless when it comes to life. It may not appear so.. no no... not to ME but I freakin' am FEARLESS otherwise I wouldn't be here.. trying to write stuff out.. get some answers... try to make some sense... try to G R O W ....I no longer am defined by the TRAGEDY that proceeds me... I make it or break it... use it or loose it. Me me me me me. And only Me... responsible for me, my future my aches and pains my minor/major/in-significant/SIGNIFICANT set backs.
Lets not dwell sitting stagnant in the filth of what could have been shall we?
Lets relish in the moment of the pity party... put on our hats and dance a little jig and then get on with it!
I hope for this week, to find those moments again.
Capture them in flight and get them out with words/ paper / paint and gesso... mess stuff up!

Have a wonderful week everyone, anyone who is listening....


THE PRINCESS of everything ... said...

my sweet girlfriend .... there is so much of me in you that I'm still trying to figure out if we are actually 2 separate people. BUT.... in my FAR vaster years of life, maturity, & experiences, I can safely say that the beauty that surrounds us EVERY day (even when we are too disconnected to see it) is there. A smile, a sunbeam, a dew drop, a rainbow, a giggle, a touch, a breeze, an ocean wave, a bird chirp, a windchime ..... and it's only 7am!!! XOXO

Lisa said...

Love this post, Kristina!

Especially this:
I no longer am defined by the TRAGEDY that proceeds me...


You are so very FEARLESS! and wise!

Love to you!