Inner Breathing...

Lotsa breathing... lotsa letting go... lotsa painting... lotsa love...'

I am a blessed Mother...

On the verge of my son being 18... my daughter 16 and my 36 birthday approaching along with my 1 year anniversary... I realize that a big part of my life is just beginning...
I am a blessed mother/wife/woman :)
I hope you all had a beautifully perfect day!

Emerging Art : Cardboard :

Hi guys! This is a little bit of what I've been up to :) More to come!

Please be sure to stop by the two artists youtube accounts that I mentioned!
Mystele:
http://www.youtube.com/user/littleglimpses
&
Paula:
http://www.youtube.com/user/JournalArtista
::::::::::::::::::: THANK YOU::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I am ready... or I mean.. I will be...

I went BIGGER... now I am preparing to go DEEPER....

Hopped up on Theraflu...

well oh me oh my O... it's been a crazy couple weeks.

Just as soon as the fog lifted it came back in the form of a thrown out back and now this week a cold.. oh joy!

Ever just feel .. O L D .

I have been making myself aware of the beauty that surrounds me in any given circumstance.. like in traffic.. the 7 Sisters are so majestic this time of year.. even with things that are withering.. promise of a spring is there with every little patch of green still clinging to life...

it's an amazing place where I lay my head. And I am a grateful one...

Art, art art. What would I do without you.. and although I know I will not be making money doing it.. I just can't help but to feel like you are a part of something that is coming.. something that is SO big.. so huge... so "omygawd I've been waiting for this".. ya know?

So stick with me please.. my mind will surley follow the heart right into a beautiful hot pressed piece of paper with a graphite crayon, water colors and a little glimmer of a dream to come...

I probably am making no sense whatsoever because I am all hopped up on theraflu.. but I thought I should blog ... it's been awhile- and I like to come back and read what I wrote sometimes because a LOT of the times I go... I wrote that? HA!

Goodnight, promise of a better tomorrow lays a couple winks of sleep away...

Be Brave..

I'm coming out of the fog...

my lighthouse you could say would be my family.

I am truly a blessed human being.

I live the life I have always wanted to live.

A beautiful husband, a home to live in, a job that pays well... and kids that are happy and well adjusted.

It's a constant back and forth... trying to keep it all balanced. And I may have dust on my furniture, and I may need to clean my bathroom.. and I may have clothes still in the laundry basket that need folding... but I am a decent human being. Despite all those "flaws"... despite the obvious... I am a decent woman.

When I was a little one.. I loved the movie The Rescuers. It was so amazing to me that this little girl.. who was all alone- found these mice to help her. And through her fear she managed to keep her hope bottled up.. I fell in love with that movie.. with that song that plays in the beginning. It's encompasses all that you want to tell your children when they are scared. And I imagine that The Creator feels the same way about us...

Be brave little one, keep your head up though no one is near, you're apart of the love that you feel, someone's waiting for you. Don't cry little one...

Today, I forced myself to remember the good in my life. To smile in the place of the tear or my fear. To breathe when I thought there was no more air...

and it worked.

Thank you My life.. for sticking with me, when all else seems lost. When I'm in The Funk and the disco ball has broke... . When my ship has sailed.

There you are.. ever faithful, holding on tight.

Here we go.

Capture them in flight...

It's raining on the Central Coast of california.

It fits my mood.

It's been a trying week.. and I noticed that I have written "This week tried to kill me" more than once on my facebook status... ha! I am so dramatic!

Sometimes I feel as though there is so much to learn...and then RELEARN that it takes the place of all the wonder that you have for the world.

You feel burdened by responsibilities and by the past/future/present.

Finding the beauty in things is so much easier than finding beauty in yourself, as yourself. As is.

In AS IS condition. Be present in the AS IS moment. I love myself as is at this very moment in the NOW. I just wrote a bunch of shit.. jibberish.. mish mash of self hatred and loathing and I thought.. wow.. SHUT UP hit backspace and wrote this instead...

I am totally fearless when it comes to life. It may not appear so.. no no... not to ME but I freakin' am FEARLESS otherwise I wouldn't be here.. trying to write stuff out.. get some answers... try to make some sense... try to G R O W ....I no longer am defined by the TRAGEDY that proceeds me... I make it or break it... use it or loose it. Me me me me me. And only Me... responsible for me, my future my aches and pains my minor/major/in-significant/SIGNIFICANT set backs.

Lets not dwell sitting stagnant in the filth of what could have been shall we?

Lets relish in the moment of the pity party... put on our hats and dance a little jig and then get on with it!

I hope for this week, to find those moments again.

Capture them in flight and get them out with words/ paper / paint and gesso... mess stuff up!

Have a wonderful week everyone, anyone who is listening....

What if I'm a mermaid...

I love that song by Tori Amos... she evokes so much emotion- ones that you didn't know were there. And ones that you not dare feel not to mention think/speak/SING.
That is my life. That is art. That is loving. That is living.
I am blessed. I am blessed with colors of this life...not just black and white, although sometimes, that's nice too isn't it? Like what is right and what is wrong. Black and white.

Black and white... somethings are just plain and simple wrapped in messy right?

Life, messy messy, sticky life.
Thank you art... for making me curiouser and curiouser.




Albert Einstein said once...

"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."

Oh that's good stuff.. and I said outloud... Freakin' Einstein was a poet TOO?
giggle..

You are safe

A journal entry tonight.

Started this morning @ 3:00 a.m.

Thought about what I would do at work...and finished her right after dinner.

These colors are really speak to me.

There seems to be a lot of thoughts floating around in this head of mine these days.

It's amazing... these things that you would never say to any one is perfectly acceptable to say to yourself.....sad really.

I aim to change that!

===========================================================

You can breathe little one

you are safe

You can scream out a lung

you are safe

You can go off the deep end, in search of the treasure

come up empty

blaming the weather

You are home now my love

you are safe...

============================================================

Most days... I sit and dream of gesso and torn book pages.. making incredible backgrounds filled with dreamy textures and eye catching shades of color combos.
This sketching whymsical portraits has been a great distraction, a wonderful way to pass the time at work when things are slow, a great way to get in tune with the artist that wishes SO badly to emerge. If I could just get my mind outta the way. If I could just silence her. More magic would happen. More wishes would come true.

This is Princess, she doesn't have a name at this time, she has no time period she's from, she just emerged- telling me she wanted a Tiara and a high bun... and green blue.. yes green blue.
I am learning little quirks about me and the time I spend on these little art works.
And each time I want to do more, and think of what I can do the next time.. when that blank stark white canvas is staring at me ....
She's sad- but I don't know why.
And now it's on to the next piece.

I am evolving into this crazy world of art.
There is so much variety.
It's like music.
There is something for everyone.
I am in awe constantly everyday of all the ideas that people come up with.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I come to my blank sheet because there is so much inspiration floating around me...it's hard to channel just one thing.
Whats great about that is that... I have plenty of time to put my hands into everything..even if it's just once ...

My newest and greatest love so far is this portrait making... more to come... maybe some darker ones in lew of Halloween and you know I love my gothic lovlies with spider webs and pearls and lace...
oh.. there comes another idea! Gotta go more later..

The Heart of Art...

21 Secrets! You know you wanna...

I am so excited to announce that there is an artist collaboration goin' on and you can be apart of it!!!!!

21 artists...

21 SECRETS

Lets do this people seriously need I say more?

21 Secrets Workshop

I am SO excited to learn more from

Connie of Dirty Foot prints Studio !

Leslie Herger of Comfortable Shoes Studio !

Natalie Malik of Awkwardly Beautiful !

LET THE FUN BEGIN PEOPLE!

Insert happy dance here

I was featured!

Random Freebies!

Laid Up...

So I've been laid up...

All started with a bump on my leg (ingrown hair). I was wearing crop pants so I decided to put a bandaid on it so that nobody would SEE the hideous red bump on my leg...

BAM.

Allergic reaction to the Hello Kitty bandaid.
Bad Kitty.

Part II.

I thought they were ingrown hairs. I poked and proded and put Neosporin on ALL the bumps that showed up were the sticky glue was.

BAM.
allergic reaction to the neosporin.

Part III.

Didn't know ANY of this until one day... I can't walk. I have chills. My leg is swollen x3 it's normal size.
I finally decide it's time for the doctor.

Doctor says.. Yikes! That's nasty. Go to the hardware store and get a hacksaw and chop that leg off and while you're at it get a weedwhacker for that hair growth LMAO! I love my doctor.

He prescribes 2 weeks of antibiotics. And a triple antibiotic cream for the wounds.

Ugh.

I'm soooo tired! I cannot believe it's gotten this bad all because of a little allergic reaction.
Next time I vow to NOT play Dr. Kitty.
I will go to the doc straight away!


Upside to all this, because I am a girl full of wish and silver linings, I have done art.
Yes folx.. THIS JUST IN--- you can Paint and Draw in BED! :)
And so that has been nice. Creative bump.
Also I've been wanting to move my body more.
Yoga maybe? I think I'm too fat for yoga.
DEF. need to start walking.
I am smack dab in the middle of an epiphany.

Universe: Get out and walk, you will feel better.

Me: I will I will stop being so pushy.

Universe: It's been weeks/months/1 year since you said you would.

Me: I will I will stop being so pushy.

Universe: I now bestow upon you an INFECTION in your leg. You cannot walk, even if you wanted to.

Me: ALL I WANNA DO IS WALK! HELP ME PLEASE HELP HELP!

Universe: Are you listening now?

Me: Yes.
Universe: Good. Remember, when you promise yourself something, do it. Period. Get rest. Make the changes that are do-able. We love you.

Me: I will I will stop being so pushy :) just kidding Universe you know I got jokes!
Universe: sigh...

Upside: I got my GALLON of Gel Medium from BLICK... whatchout now! Oh gawd I love it.. I want to name it and put a leash on it and take it with me everywhere!

I'm sleepy- gotta go get rest!
Love to you all cupcakes.

Betty the Brush

So I have an angled brush... she's purple.
She was like my very first brush I ever had.

Her name is Betty Brush.

So am I like the only one that does that or what?

im wierd huh?
I will call her because she likes to hide from me.

"Betty ... come out and play now"!
And my husband thinks it's hilarious.

And oh when the boy smiles : )


Today on the drive to work, trying to get outta my F U N K of having to work in the "real" world... I witness the prettiest unfolding of light.

I live by the ocean/bay and it's always thick with marine layer.
However I work slightly inland so there usually is the typical blue skies : )

Well this morning it was a tinge of yellowish/orange with the gray/white of the marine layer...
and the 7 sisters (a cluster of mountains) were glorious bathing in this light and fog swirling.....


and oh yeah YOU'RE DRIVING!

I find myself looking at EVERYTHING and thinking... how would I convey that with paint??

it's a wonderful transformation.
it's like in Interview with a Vampire when Lestat turns Louie into a vampire and he sees colors vibrant.. and things are
A L I V E !
weird analogy (but if you've seen the movie or read the book you know what I mean).

Anywho I simply must get some sleep.

I had a fantabulous time tonight with photolicious. I plan on doing another couple pages to see how they turn out : ) I already have a bunch in mind to print yayzers.

I even worked with NON pink/red/blue's tonight : )
Because my heart said it was okay to do so!

And I made a new Girly. Sullen Girl Morena :)
She's pretty and she makes me happy.

WEll cupcakes I bid you ADO.. wait... ADU... wait what?

What's new in Sincerely Studios?

Find more photos like this on Art Journal LOVE Letters

Are YOU ready for Art Journal LoVe...

Yes Miss. Connie.... I AM ready!

Freebie Saturday: Theatre Magazine/Vintage Magazine