Inner Breathing...

Lotsa breathing... lotsa letting go... lotsa painting... lotsa love...'

I am a blessed Mother...

On the verge of my son being 18... my daughter 16 and my 36 birthday approaching along with my 1 year anniversary... I realize that a big part of my life is just beginning...
I am a blessed mother/wife/woman :)
I hope you all had a beautifully perfect day!

Emerging Art : Cardboard :

Hi guys! This is a little bit of what I've been up to :) More to come!

Please be sure to stop by the two artists youtube accounts that I mentioned!
Mystele:
http://www.youtube.com/user/littleglimpses
&
Paula:
http://www.youtube.com/user/JournalArtista
::::::::::::::::::: THANK YOU::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I am ready... or I mean.. I will be...

I went BIGGER... now I am preparing to go DEEPER....

Hopped up on Theraflu...

well oh me oh my O... it's been a crazy couple weeks.

Just as soon as the fog lifted it came back in the form of a thrown out back and now this week a cold.. oh joy!

Ever just feel .. O L D .

I have been making myself aware of the beauty that surrounds me in any given circumstance.. like in traffic.. the 7 Sisters are so majestic this time of year.. even with things that are withering.. promise of a spring is there with every little patch of green still clinging to life...

it's an amazing place where I lay my head. And I am a grateful one...

Art, art art. What would I do without you.. and although I know I will not be making money doing it.. I just can't help but to feel like you are a part of something that is coming.. something that is SO big.. so huge... so "omygawd I've been waiting for this".. ya know?

So stick with me please.. my mind will surley follow the heart right into a beautiful hot pressed piece of paper with a graphite crayon, water colors and a little glimmer of a dream to come...

I probably am making no sense whatsoever because I am all hopped up on theraflu.. but I thought I should blog ... it's been awhile- and I like to come back and read what I wrote sometimes because a LOT of the times I go... I wrote that? HA!

Goodnight, promise of a better tomorrow lays a couple winks of sleep away...

Be Brave..

I'm coming out of the fog...

my lighthouse you could say would be my family.

I am truly a blessed human being.

I live the life I have always wanted to live.

A beautiful husband, a home to live in, a job that pays well... and kids that are happy and well adjusted.

It's a constant back and forth... trying to keep it all balanced. And I may have dust on my furniture, and I may need to clean my bathroom.. and I may have clothes still in the laundry basket that need folding... but I am a decent human being. Despite all those "flaws"... despite the obvious... I am a decent woman.

When I was a little one.. I loved the movie The Rescuers. It was so amazing to me that this little girl.. who was all alone- found these mice to help her. And through her fear she managed to keep her hope bottled up.. I fell in love with that movie.. with that song that plays in the beginning. It's encompasses all that you want to tell your children when they are scared. And I imagine that The Creator feels the same way about us...

Be brave little one, keep your head up though no one is near, you're apart of the love that you feel, someone's waiting for you. Don't cry little one...

Today, I forced myself to remember the good in my life. To smile in the place of the tear or my fear. To breathe when I thought there was no more air...

and it worked.

Thank you My life.. for sticking with me, when all else seems lost. When I'm in The Funk and the disco ball has broke... . When my ship has sailed.

There you are.. ever faithful, holding on tight.

Here we go.

Capture them in flight...

It's raining on the Central Coast of california.

It fits my mood.

It's been a trying week.. and I noticed that I have written "This week tried to kill me" more than once on my facebook status... ha! I am so dramatic!

Sometimes I feel as though there is so much to learn...and then RELEARN that it takes the place of all the wonder that you have for the world.

You feel burdened by responsibilities and by the past/future/present.

Finding the beauty in things is so much easier than finding beauty in yourself, as yourself. As is.

In AS IS condition. Be present in the AS IS moment. I love myself as is at this very moment in the NOW. I just wrote a bunch of shit.. jibberish.. mish mash of self hatred and loathing and I thought.. wow.. SHUT UP hit backspace and wrote this instead...

I am totally fearless when it comes to life. It may not appear so.. no no... not to ME but I freakin' am FEARLESS otherwise I wouldn't be here.. trying to write stuff out.. get some answers... try to make some sense... try to G R O W ....I no longer am defined by the TRAGEDY that proceeds me... I make it or break it... use it or loose it. Me me me me me. And only Me... responsible for me, my future my aches and pains my minor/major/in-significant/SIGNIFICANT set backs.

Lets not dwell sitting stagnant in the filth of what could have been shall we?

Lets relish in the moment of the pity party... put on our hats and dance a little jig and then get on with it!

I hope for this week, to find those moments again.

Capture them in flight and get them out with words/ paper / paint and gesso... mess stuff up!

Have a wonderful week everyone, anyone who is listening....